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Here are some excerpts from the book

Alarm Clock Trick

My Wife’s parents both died in their early years, so my Wife and I brought her fourteen year old Sister home to live with us.  My Wife and I being very young ourselves had to ‘learn’ how to raise a teenager long before we normally would have had to do with our own two young girls. 

One of the major situations that ensued was about; what time did you get in last night?  I was working as an Engineer at Rockwell during the day and operating our slot car track shop until ten o’clock every night, so I was usually exhausted and went to bed ASAP.

We had very strict rules for my Wife’s Sister and were adamant about her curfew time.  My Mother had given her a car when she got her driver’s license and she loved to stay out late-late-late.  I hate to say it but, she always lied about what time she came home.

So, I bought a cheap electric alarm clock and plugged it into a wall plug by the front door. Luckily the wall plug was behind the couch and I was able to hide the clock from her view. 

The wall plug was controlled by the light switch near the front door, and it also controlled a small lamp that sat next to the couch.  I would leave the lamp on for her and when she came home late at night she would turn off the small lamp with the switch by the door and turn off the clock at the same time allowing me to look at the clock in the morning and tell her exactly when she came in, right to the minute. 

My Wife’s Sister was amazed that I was so clairvoyant and this worked well for a long time right up until I made the mistake of bragging about it to my Wife’s other Sister and she in turn told on me.


Can You Believe This

 Can you imagine working for a company that has a little more than 500 employees and has the following statistics?

  • 29 have been accused of spousal abuse.
  • 7 have been arrested for fraud.
  • 19 have been accused of writing bad checks.
  • 117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses.
  • 3 have done time for assault.
  • 71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit.
  • 14 have been arrested on drug-related charges.
  • 8 have been arrested for shoplifting.
  • 21 are currently defendants in lawsuits.
  • 84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year.

 Can You Guess which Organization This Is?

Give Up Yet?

 It’s the 535 members of the United State Congress.

 
The same group that cranks out hundreds of new laws each year designed to keep the rest of us in “LINE”.


Jails and Nursing Homes

Here’s what we should do:

 Let’s put all the Seniors in jail and put the criminals in nursing homes.

  • Seniors would have access to showers, hobbies and walks.  
  • They would receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheel chairs, etc.  
  • They would receive money instead of having to pay it out.  
  • They would have constant video monitoring, so they would be helped instantly if they fell or needed assistance.  
  • Their bedding would be washed twice a week and all clothing would be returned to them.  
  • A guard would check on them every 20 minutes.  
  • All meals and snacks would be brought to them.  
  • They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.  
  • They would have access to a library, weight/fitness room, spiritual counseling, a pool and free education.  
  • They would have free in-house concerts by nationally recognized entertainment artists.  
  • They would be provided free simple clothing, (ie: shoes, slippers, pajamas and legal aid upon request.  
  • There would be private, secure rooms provided for all with an outdoor exercise yard complete with gardens.  
  • Each senior would have a P.C., T.V., phone and radio in their room at no cost to them.  
  • They would be able to receive all their daily phone calls in their rooms.  
  • There would be a board of directors to hear any complaints and the ACLU would fight for their rights and protection.  
  • The guards would have a code of conduct to be strictly adhered to, with attorneys available, at no charge to protect the seniors and their families from abuse or neglect.

 As for the criminals:

  • They would receive cold food. 
  • They would be left alone and unsupervised. They would receive showers once per week.  
  • They would live in tiny rooms, (sometimes with two other roommates) for which they would have to pay up to $5,000.00 per month.  
  • They would have no hope of ever going home again.

 
Sounds like justice to me.

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